5 Love Languages
Published Jan 11, 2023 // by Tisha Ladia
Most of us don't realize that we may not speak the same love language as our partner/spouse, which may be a critical factor in some arguments. The book 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman is very insightful into the different languages. You can also take a love language quiz online to help you figure out your love language.
Note: These love languages can apply to all relationships, not just partners or spouses. These may work with friends, your parents, or your children.
While this quiz will help us to know what love language is our primary language, we may want to receive different love languages at different times. It is a matter of which language we need more often than others. For instance, I took the quiz and posted my results at the top of this post.
Quality Time
As you can see, both touch and time are essential to me. Of course, you can only have touch with time, so it makes sense why those usually go hand in hand. Quality time can be as simple as laying on the couch together in an embrace and watching television. Or it can be going out somewhere together. It is essential to communicate what you consider quality time with your partner/friend/family member so that they understand you and your needs.
Physical Touch
Touch doesn't always have to be intimate. For example, I love hugs from all those I am close with. I am a person that can have a very in-depth conversation with a friend, which may bring strong emotional reactions, and I want to hug them to show them how much I love and appreciate them. I also will hug someone I haven't seen in person in a while when we get together and when we part for the day.
Words of Affirmation
I still like to have words of affirmation from my relationship too. Comments like, I love how you are always there for me. Or, Thank you for your help on that project. Affirmation comments go a long way with many people, even if it isn't their primary love language, so you should add this to the gratitude you share with your loved ones and the Universe.
Acts of Service
Acts of Service can be things like taking care of the daily tasks in life when your partner is overwhelmed with other obligations. Or it can be taking them lunch at work because you know they forget to bring something to eat every day. While these are nice and great to be thought of, not everyone will have this as the primary love language they want to receive, but it could be their primary language to speak. I am still looking for a quiz online to determine what language we speak, so this is just based on my personal experience.
Receiving Gifts
Finally, receiving gifts. Who doesn't like gifts every once in a while? Some may need this more than others, though. The key would be to make sure the gift is given with a lot of thought. Although, some people will think bringing lunch to them at work is a gift vs. an act of service. Others may need to receive a token like roses or jewelry as a gift.
Summary
You may discover, as I have, that you speak a different language than you want to receive. You may spend a lot of effort on finding the perfect birthday or Christmas present for someone makes you feel like you are showing your love. Or you could find that doing the laundry for your partner, so they don't have to, shows them that you are thinking about them and that you love them. While you may need to receive love differently than you speak love, make sure you communicate this openly with your partner/friend/family member. Not everyone talks the same way, either. It is vital to make sure they hear you clearly, and you hear them clearly, too.
In my example, I would prefer to go for a walk together and let the laundry and dishes wait. I tell those I love, thank you so much for your help with the project or insight or with the help on my house, yet I will need to have a hug of gratitude.
I hope you find your love language and that this helps you with all your relationships.
